Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Interviews, Porn, and the ER

I had one eventful day today. My day started out normal. I ate my breakfast was watching Regis and Kelly. I received a phone call from my old employer about a work from home job as an account executive. I completed my phone screen with HR and will be moving onto phone interviews next week or so. No in person interview since they are in WI. After I completed that interview I received another call from the global supply chain I had a phone interview with last week. I am meeting them for an in person interview Friday afternoon at 1. My interview with the bank on Friday is at 8:30 so I have plenty of time in between interviews.

I spent around an hour preparing a resume and cover letter for a software project manager position with a “Media” company. I found the position on CareerBuilder and when I went to the company’s website to send my resume and cover letter I receive a message that the site I am going to contains adult content. I proceed…a little nervous. The job was as a project manager for an escort service! Are you freaken’ kidding me? Just what I want on my resume. Project Manager, Porno Industry. I was so mad I wasted my time on that resume. Curious what kind of “software” the project manager would be in charge of.

I decided to take a shower and get ready for my day. I put my robe on after taking the shower and headed over to my computer to check my email. All the sudden my vision started going. It was like I was looking into the bottoms of two broken coke bottles. I thought it was the sun shining into the living room so I closed the curtains. I looked at the computer again and I could not read anything. I ran to the bathroom to see if there was something in my eyes and I looked in the mirror and I could not see myself. I was beginning to panic. I called my mom, who is a nurse, and she told me Tony needs to come home and take me to the doctor. At first we were just going to go to the doctor’s office or urgent care but then a massive headache came on. I was crying I was so scared. I get a few migraines a year but the vision change had me freaking out. Tony left work right away and called our friends to check on me while he was on his way home. A few of my neighbors came over right away to make sure I was OK. I am so lucky to have friends like that to rush to my aid when something goes wrong. Tony pulled in and since my vision escalated to a massive headache and trouble walking we decided to go to the ER. By the time I got to the ER I started becoming disoriented. I was terrified. After a two and a half hour wait in the ER I finally see a doctor and they do a CT scan to make sure I am not having an aneurysm. It is all good. I just had a sever migraine. If I just had the headache and not the vision loss I would have never gone in. Losing my vision temporarily was one of the scariest things.

Now…let me tell you about my ER experience. First of all I am scared because I just saw Bret Michaels on the Joy Behar show yesterday and he was talking about how he had is aneurysm while watching Busty Cops 3. I start having my issues after looking at a job with an escort service. Great comparison. We get there and I have to sign in with the receptionist. I can’t even see the papers because my vision is so bad so she takes my driver’s license and fills it out for me. There is a paramedic next to me and I can hardly stand up. He did nothing. Then I go to a waiting are where I have to wait to talk to a triage nurse. I spent about an hour waiting there. A half hour into it I found a nurse and asked why the long wait. She thought she had two people working triage and there was only one. Not to be incredible mean but the dude looked like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers. I never saw him get off his chair. He just rolled his ass to the door to call the next person. After we were done with Fat Bastard we then had to go into the waiting room to wait to be called by a nurse. By this time my fears were starting to settle down and I was starting to get my vision back.

What surprised me now about the ER is you are no longer a name or number…you are a BARCODE! They put a barcode on your bracelet and scan it. I just love how shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice make the ER look so glamorous. I did not have any McDreamy or McSteamy. My doctor was McOverworked with too many patients and too little staff. That is right..One doctor in the ER. Next time I really might have to consider going to Duke.

Have you all ever analyzed people in the waiting room? There was one guy that came out of triage with a face mask on. He is clearly contagious and decided to take his mask off because it does not match is white sunglasses he is wearing INSIDE! Seriously, if fashion is more important what the heck is he doing at the hospital? Was not sitting by him. There was some guy lying over his wife and he sounded like he was either going a drug with drawl or he had not shit in the last month. Another young girl was there because she passed out at work. I know this because she talked so f’ing loud the whole waiting room could hear her. Maybe if her anorexia butt would eat something she would not be passing out. Every other room out of her mouth was “like”. Tony and I started making dinging sounds every time she said it. The ER waiting room is also clearly filled with people that are there because they do not have insurance. This group of three women came in and two of them went right to the waiting room computers to play on the internet. They clearly knew where they were located. Been there a few times?

Now I am at home resting. Tony made dinner tonight. The first time he had made dinner in months. He does like taking care of me though.

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