Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Learning to Forgive


We all have hard lessons to learn in life. One of the biggest lessons is learning how to forgive a person that hurt you and apologize for when you hurt them.

As some of you may recall the fight I had with my friend Tanya last June that ended pretty badly. We did not speak for months and around September she reached out to Tony through facebook since I blocked her. She apologized and I did not respond and she tried again in December. I responded but still not sure what to do. Fast forward to last month. I was looking through some pictures and came across some of Tanya and me when she visited. Since our fight I really missed emailing her, talking to her, everything. She was the first person I told practically everything to. I told Tony how much I missed her and he suggested I send her an email to see if she still wants to work it out. She did respond and does want to work it out. I was surprised since I ignored her other emails she would even still want to try to work it out.

We have been communicating through email the last two days. It is not like it used to be but we will get there someday. I plan on talking to her Wednesday night. We both said horrible things to each other we did not mean at the time and we both feel terribly bad. Admitting when I am wrong or when I go too far is not easy for me. I hope our conversation goes well tomorrow because I really miss my best friend. I really miss the one person I could tell everything to.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Remake of the Tuna Noodle Casserole

Saturday night I spent 45 minutes making Tony’s tuna noodle casserole. Since I was working so hard on his meal he wanted to make me something to return the favor. Picture below shows Tony’s tuna noodle casserole for his dinner…mine…Morning Star Farm corn dogs from the box.

Tuna Noodle Casserole

I modified the Skinny Tuna Noodle Casserole I made last month and added my own gourmet twist to this recipe. The last time I followed her recipe Tony liked it but it was also lacking some flavor. This recipe is no longer low in fat since I use Swiss cheese and Dutch goat cheese. Tony loves his cheese and even wanted more than what I added! I hate the smell of tuna. The goat cheese takes over the tuna smell and actually makes tuna casserole smell amazing. This recipe also has more onion than the original since Tony loves onions. Makes 6 servings.

Ingredients:
- 6 oz penne pasta
- 2 tbsp butter
- 1 large onion, minced
- 3 garlic cloves, minced
- 3 tbsp flour
- 1 3/4 cups fat free chicken broth
- 1 cup 1% milk or soy milk
- 1 oz sherry 1
- 10 oz sliced baby bella mushrooms
- 1 1/2 cups frozen petite peas (thawed)
- 2 (5 oz) cans tuna in water
- 1 ½ tsp onion salt
- 2 tsp salt
- 1 tsp ground pepper
- 1 tbs Garlic Garlic – from Tastefully Simple - add 3 more garlic cloves if you do not have this item.
- ¾ cup shredded reduced fat sharp cheddar
- 1 cup  shredded Dutch goat cheese
- 1 ½ cups shredded Swiss Cheese
- butter flavored cooking spray
- 2 slices of rye bread – toasted and ground into bread crumbs

Directions:
Preheat oven to 375°. Lightly spray 9 x 12 casserole with butter flavored cooking spray.

Cook noodles in salted water until al dente, or slightly undercooked by 2 minutes. Set aside. Melt the butter in a large deep skillet. Add onions and garlic cloves and cook on medium heat until soft, about 5 minutes. Add the flour and a pinch of salt and stir well, cooking an additional 2-3 minutes on medium-low heat.

Slowly whisk in the chicken broth until well combined, increasing heat to medium and whisking well for 30 seconds, then add the milk and bring to a boil. When boiling, add sherry, mushrooms and petite peas, adjust salt and pepper to taste and simmer on medium, mixing occasionally until it thickens (about 6-7 minutes). Add drained tuna, stirring another minute. Add in onion salt, Garlic Garlic, salt, and pepper.

Remove from heat and add reduced fat sharp cheddar, goat cheese, and 1 cup of the Swiss cheese and mix well until it melts. Add the noodles to the sauce and mix well until evenly coated. Pour into casserole and top with remaining Swiss cheese and breadcrumbs. If desired, top with more ground pepper and salt. Spray a little more cooking spray and top and bake for about 20 - 25 minutes.

Place under the broiler a few minutes to get the crumbs crisp (careful not to burn).

Friday, May 20, 2011

Beaver Crossing

I saw the cutest thing yesterday. I was on my way home from work and in a very busy section of the road two beavers were trying to cross. One of them already made it across and you could see the fear in her eye's as she was watching her mate try to cross in the busy traffic. He made it to the other side and immediately the two pressed their faces together as if they were kissing. Really amazing how you can see fear and love in the actions of animals.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Weight Loss Update

Lately I have been a bit scared to get on the scale. For over a month I have been at a plateau, hanging around 133 – 134. I just did not want to get on the scale for more disappointment. Yesterday I got on the scale and weighted in at 132.2. Yippy! Minus implants that is 128.2. I am only two pounds away from the weight I was at in Curacao last year. I would like to be that same weight when Tony and I are in Aruba. Only three more months to get there. The bigger challenge is making it 8 months on weight watchers. The longest I ever went on weight watchers straight is 5 months. That is where I am at right now. Normally I give up counting points and rely on myself to maintain my weight but after about 4 or 5 months a few pounds are back. Sometimes not a big deal, but those few pounds turning into 10 then 15 over a 9 months to a year. I do not want to go back to counting on my own and then come Aruba time I put on 5 pounds. Five pounds might not be a big deal for a lot of people but on my small frame it is for me. Five more pounds means larger butt dimples, thighs that rub together, a giggly stomach, no cheek bone definition…yes really all of that from just five pounds.

My knee has been feeling so great lately. There are still times it hurts when I really give it in karate. I am starting to think it is as good as it is going to get. I can no longer use my knee as an excuse any more in karate. My instructor is pushing my limits now so I get comfortable again. Hurts at the time but I know I will thank him later. I know I need to do a better job since I am going to have my black belt soon. Even with my knee problems I still need to perform like a solid black belt…not an injured one.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Getting Married Too Young

Since William and Kate married I see more and more articles about the benefits of waiting to get married until you are older. Over the years I experienced criticism and the gasping look from people when the find out how young I was when I got married. The biggest question I get is “what did your parents think?” Even more of a shocking look when I tell them they were fine with it and married at the same age as Tony and me. Even worse when we first got engaged, the first question to cross people’s mind (some even said it out loud) was is she pregnant?

Background
When Tony and I got married I had just turned 19 and he was about to turn 24. There is about a 5 year age difference between us. We met when I was 17 and started dating when I was 18. Three months after we were dating he asked me to marry him. Tony and I never talked about marriage. Going into the relationship we both thought we were going to date for a few months and move onto our separate ways. I never expected Tony to fall completely in love with me. So much so that when he first said it my reaction was “no you don’t”. I was not one of those young girls that started planning my wedding when I was a child. Marriage was never on my mind. I had just started college and had a long road ahead of me. So when Tony popped the question (no ring in hand) I did not take him completely seriously until the next day he said we needed to go ring shopping. So why at my age, having never thought about marriage, would I jump down the isle with a man I was only dating for three months? Because we both just knew we were soul mates. Even my mom did. She and a lady she worked with were making bets on when he would ask me. As said above my parents were the same age when they got married and now have been married for over 35 years.

Waiting to Discover Yourself
What I do not like are people these days passing judgment on those that get married young. Not everyone is at the same maturity level when they are 19, 20, even 30. I was very mature for my age. If I had not married Tony when I did where would my life be? I would have turned down my soul mate to, as they say in the articles, find myself…discover who I am? These articles argue that you are not the same person as you are when you are 18 and 28. What they fail to mention is you are not the same person at 28 as you are 38 or 48 or 58! So how long do you need to discover yourself? One of the best parts of marriage is growing as a couple. You still develop your individuality and the best part is you have your spouse there to cheer you on.

Experience
These articles out there with age comes experience hence why you should wait to get married. What experiences are we talking about here? My single girlfriends have slim pickings when it comes to great men in their late 20’s and early 30’s. Most of them are set in their ways, many have children from previous relationships, they set very high standards, some already married and divorced, and others are damaged and not trustworthy because of their “experiences” in previous relationships. Not saying ever man or woman out there is like this but many of them are. Why in the world would I put myself through that because I needed to discover who I am? Instead I followed my heart and knew at 18 years Tony was going to be my husband for the rest of my life. In the past 10 years we shared so many wonderful experiences, vacations, and just life in general. I do not think I would have had all of those if it was not for Tony.

Financial Stability
Another reason recent articles want people to wait to get married is so they are financially stable. Finances being the number one reason for divorce I can see their reasoning but do not agree with it. Unlike most married couples we chose not to have children right away which contributes to the financial instability of couples that marry young. So many people think your finances will fall into place when you have kids but the reality is it does not and for many the credit card bills that are unmanageable.

When I was 20 Tony and I were able to buy our first home. It was nothing extravagant but we were able to get a start building equity. Two years later when we moved to NC we bought our second home when I was 22 and he was 27. We got a jump start into financial stability. Luckily it was all before the housing crash. We were smart enough at that age to know we should not spend more than we can afford and smart enough to know not to take out a variable rate mortgage. Right now we are under a 15 year fixed rate mortgage at 3.75%. Thanks to our long payment history, great credit scores, and zero credit card debt we were able to achieve that rate. We do use credit cards to build our history but pay them off every month. So where are the babies since we achieved financial stability? We have not decided if parenthood is for us. Right now we really are enjoying each other.

Our Struggles
This is not to say Tony and I did not have our fare share of struggles given we married so young. But getting married right away is what also helped us from walking out on the relationship. I could not imagine being with someone for 5 years without marriage and then one day they just had enough and walk out. We made a commitment to each other. For better or for worse; for rich or for poor. We take the vows we made very seriously. Some of the stuff we went through in our marriage I think many people would have walked out on. We never dealt with infidelity but the death of my brother, moving across country, and family issues would have most people filing for divorce.

When we were in serious trouble I was in a depression from the death of my brother and he was deeply depressed because he was missing his family after we moved across the country. Didn’t help they called all the time asking when HE was moving back, with or without me. Since we each had our own issues we were dealing with we were not there to help each other. After over a year of being miserable we sought out help through a psychologist. She really helped us repair our marriage and get back on track. Why am I so honest about this? Because every marriage has issues and if you are in trouble I do not want you to be afraid to seek help from a psychologist. If you sit back and say everything has been perfect you are full of shit.

What We Do and Did Right
We did not jump right into having kids. This may work for some people but for Tony and me not having children right away has done wonders for our marriage. We are happily settled with our four furry ones.

I did not quit school. Another speculation that was out there when Tony and I got engaged was whether or not I would finish college. Well I finished alright, along with two other degrees. Tony supported me the whole way – 8 years worth.

We did not let other people define what it is to be married. Most people think you get married, you have kids, you see your family ever weekend, etc. It took a while but we discovered what makes us happy as a couple. Other people’s opinions, including our parent’s, are not welcome.

When we knew our marriage was in trouble we went for help rather than rushing to a lawyers office. At the time we were in trouble I never would have thought our marriage would be as close to perfect as it is today.

We fixed our finances. Everyone makes financial mistakes and we were some of them too when we first got engaged. It did not take long for us to realize what happened and we quickly jumped on board to fix it right away. We do not live beyond our means and if one of us lost a job we would be OK – which you all should know we have been there.

We both still have our own individuality. Tony has his guy’s nights, guy Harley rides, and guys camping trips. I have karate and girl time. Being able to be an individual is so important to a marriage.

We find things we like to do together. I like riding with Tony when I have time. We enjoy mini vacations and long vacations together. We like camping, board games, movies, hiking, among many other things. There really no better evening than dinner at home, snuggling on the couch, and watching a movie with popcorn.

Now that we are planning our vow renewal for our 10 year anniversary in Aruba I really have never felt so close to my husband. I am excited to renew our vows after 10 years since we were so young when we married. Now we get two great experiences. Marriage as young adults and vow renewal as established adults. If I had to go back in time and do it all over again I would. I do not regret one bit getting married young.

Closing Statement
Getting married young is not for everyone; neither is getting married older. If you know your partner is the right person for you don’t hold off because people are telling you that you need to discover yourself or think there is something better out there. It is better to marry the right person at the wrong time than the wrong person at the right time. You know what is right for you regardless of age. Enjoy the great times, fight like hell during the bad times, and never give up on your version about what it means to be happy.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Vow Renewal - More Details

I am thrilled to report we found Tony’s vow renewal clothes. We found the perfect white collard shirt from Macy’s along with kaki colored linen pants. We bought two pairs because we are not sure which one to go with yet. Tony also bought new leather flip flops from Clarks. 

Pants: shown in white; purchased in kaki. $29.98
 

Shirt. Sale: $15.47

Tony's flip flops. Sale: $39.99


I am not going to put the dress I am wearing on my blog because I want it to be a surprise for Tony. However here are the shoes I am wearing. I know Tony will not search for the dress since he wants to be surprised as well. So for those of you wondering go to anntaylor.com. Select weddings and events. Select cocktail dresses. It is the strapless petal dress in ivory.



Picture of shoes I am going to wear with my dress
AK. $69 - $20 Macy's coupon = $49
 



The camera arrived on Saturday. I am so thrilled with it. I have a lot to learn about how to use the DSLR camera. So far the picture quality is great. I highly recommend Beachcamera.com. This is the third camera I bought from them and it arrived in two days. They have the best prices out there. Buying all these new items for our vacation makes it so exciting! I think all we have left to buy is our snorkeling gear.
We have to give the wedding coordinator 50% down to save the date. I am happy about that since it helps Tony and I phase our expenses for this trip.

Sorry no new recipes lately. I have been sticking with some of the recent ones I made that Tony and I love. I made the Greek Turkey Burgers yesterday and attempted grilling on my own. Normally I prepare the meal and Tony grills. Well I am not touching the grill again. I burned the burgers.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Vow Renewal Plans

Our vow renewal plans are coming around. I reserved the date with the coordinator in Aruba. It feels like Tony and I are planning our wedding as if we were getting married today. Just the way we would do it – alone on the beach. The part I am excited about the most is the pictures that will be taken. The photographer we had at our wedding 10 years ago was so out of touch with the latest technology. Everyone is so stiff in our pictures and every photo is taken like a portrait.

My dress came in earlier this week. It fits perfect. Maybe a little snug in the chest but am sure if I drop another two or three pounds it will fit even better. I found my shoes from Macy’s. I bought ivory wedge sandals. I was afraid nice flip flops still would not look good with my dress and I cannot do heals on the beach. Thought about the barefoot idea but the sand will probably be steaming.

We are going to have the vow renewal ceremony just before sunset. It will make for some beautiful pictures. We get a hours worth of photography in our package. After the pictures and ceremony are over with we are getting dropped off at a restaurant near our hotel. They have tables right on the beach. Not talking about deck seating. Our feet will actually be in the sand.

It is going to be so hard not to get tan lines before our vow renewal. We arrive on Monday and our ceremony is on Thursday. I am sure we are going to have a lot of beach and snorkel time in before Thursday. I found a cheap strapless bikini through Victoria’s Secret but it will only be good for tanning on the beach. If I snorkel in that people probably will get a show when the top comes down. I can just see Tony waiting for that to happen with our underwater camera. We also decided we should probably buy our own snorkel gear. We love snorkeling. What the hotel charge for a day rental is what it would cost for us to buy our own.

Yesterday I bought our first DSLR camera. It is a cheaper entry level DSLR camera for us. Our point and shoots work fine but it is going to be nice to have a great camera for portrait pictures and scenery. Our point and shoot is an underwater camera by Olympus. It takes amazing underwater pictures but really lacks quality of indoor photography. Also the water tends to leave spots on the lense.

Next item to buy is Tony’s pants and shirt for our vow renewal. I am thinking linen pants, a white shirt, and leather flip flops. We are going to go looking tonight after dinner.

I am so excited for our trip and now regret not making it longer. I do not think five days will be enough. Just will make us want to come back to the Caribbean soon…like that is really a bad thing. If Tony and I had the money and the balls I know we would move to an island. It just fits our laid back personality.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Earning Some Extra Cash

I finally had my garage sale this past weekend. It was a little slow compared to previous years because the million dollar homes not far from where I live had a huge sale going on as well. I still made $250 that will be used towards our vacation in Aruba. I may hold another one next month for the rest of my stuff since there was not that great of a turn out this year.

I did some more negotiating with my bills. My promotion I had with my phone service through Time Warner was up so my bill jumped up $15 a month. I called them and was able to get under a new promotion for my internet service so that dropped my bill $20 a month for a year. I still may call DirecTV and see where I can cut back as well. In the summer Tony and I do not watch much TV so it does not make sense to pay $100 a month for something we hardly use.

My friend Elissa got together with her coworkers and placed a Tastefully Simple order. I am so thankful she did that for me. I have another party in a little less than two weeks and am hoping for good sales. Tony and I need all the extra cash we can earn for our wedding vow renewal. Yes! I just announced it. Tony and I decided to renew our wedding vows in Aruba on the beach. It does come with a hefty price tag since there is not a lot of competition on a small island. We were originally looking for a photographer but with how much the photographer costs we decide why not just do the vow renewal. It is our 10 year anniversary so we want to do it up right. This does mean we have to put off some other projects around the house. The covered patio we were planning on finishing this year probably will not happen until late fall or spring next year now. We do have some of the material bought already but it will have to sit there until we can afford to do the roof right.